i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
