so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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