So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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