Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
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Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
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It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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