There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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