sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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