Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize