He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
