My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
