Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
