Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
