I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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