mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize