Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
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He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
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I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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