Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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