wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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