wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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