So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think a kid would responsible me up
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
