dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
there's paper in my vomit.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
