He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
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I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
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Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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