dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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