Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
