On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
