Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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