Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize