Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Randomize
