I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
