well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
