I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
