"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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