I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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