You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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