my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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