You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
