I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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