this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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