Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Randomize
