You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
