i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
