i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
did i walk over a car last night?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize