Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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