i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
