she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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