Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
