it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
