I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Let's get the cat blown out
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
