I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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