just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I am available for nakedness
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize
