So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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