Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
should my penis look like a turkey
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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