Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
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Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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