Ambien. No doubt about it.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.