did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
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You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
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I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor