you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.