I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
