What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
