no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
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They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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I have tasted many bathrooms
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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