Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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