eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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