..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
