awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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