theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
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He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
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Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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