you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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